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 Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore

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koolsadhu1000

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PostSubject: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:40 pm

The current Arunima horror story in India made me bring this topic up .

This state level football player was travelling in a train when some gundas entered it and began mugging the passengers in the train , demanding their money and jewellery .

Arunima resisted . She did NOT give up her gold chain . The Gundas pushed her out of the train and as her leg lay upon the railway trach , another train ran over it and it was amputated .

Today the girl who once ran spiritedly on the fields lies , a cripple , on the hospital beds with the UP govt facing public fury for offering her a mere 25000 rupees as compensation .

A Tv serial ..........Pratigya was hailed as a ground breaking serial as it showed somewhat a same scenario . Pratigya , a college going girl , tackles Eve teasing in a train by slapping a Gunda .............who then , stalks her , kidnaps her , and approaches bigger gundas to 'teach her the lesson of her life' .

The bigger gunda takes a fancy to her and proposes marraige . Pratigya marries him to 'teach him a lesson ' on behalf of women and succeeds in doing so .

I found similiarities in the Arunima and Pratigya story . One is real life and one is fiction . Yet the similrarities r striking . Train travelling , deciding to tackle Gundas , an indomitable spirit .

My questions r simple .

1] Is it WISE to tackle gundas when they mug u and eve tease u ?

2] Is it heroism when someone decides to take them on or is it setting a bad example coz people emulating u r endangered ? After all Rosa Parks WAS the first one to refuse to get up from her seat in the bus simply bcoz she was black .

3] Is it cowardice if u decide to ignore them as u feel they can do ANYTHING , like slashing your face with a kniife or breaking ur jaw with a punch ..........is it cowardice if u think that heroism is not worth it and opt for survival ?

4] What is the BEST way to deal with eve teasing or mugging ? It is a social evil that needs to be corrected but it has existed through eras .

5] It is one area where brute force wins . So is recognizing the limitations of a woman's physique and deciding NOT to get into it the win of good over evil ?

6] If police r called these muggers or eve teasers decide to take revenge and stalk u ...........which is shown in Pratigya . Life is nEVER the same again .

So what should be done ?

I would love to know your views and have a debate on this controversial topic .

So Let us begin .
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anu rulz

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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:22 pm

another very controversial topic Kools..great work thinking this up..i think it depends on the circumstances and who u are wid..if ur the alone and there is a gunda or gang of gundas,i wud say forget heroism and run the hell away frm ther..ther is no shame in it i feel..if ur wid a crowd/friends and sum1 acts fresh,maybe sum1 who can match up to the brute strength can tackle the goon..even thn,at times its safer to get away..my roomy and her guy were once out till late in pune and typically ended up in a fight and she like a heroine got off the bike and started walking..soon they were followed by a gang of guys..here to show his machoness,her guy CUD have gotten into a tiff wid thm coz they were passing lewd comments,bt he preferred to protect her practically and both whizzed off before it got out of hand..i say very smart thing to do..yes,there was a time wen i was young and stupid and had turned arnd and slapped a guy (i was in school tht time) in a bus..meri kismat achhi thi the conductor was a nice man who kicked the guy off frm the bus so he wudnt know my stop..bt even thn the guy CUD have followed me home..now wen i think back,i realise how foolish tht impulsive action had been..most important thing to do is protect urself..whether by retaliating or by ignoring,its ur call..
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PostSubject: Mugging or Eve Teasing    Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:23 am

Another interesting topic of discussion i.e eve teasing which every girl goes thru.

I personally feel one should just ignore eve teasing during the initial stages itself so that it doesn't get worse in future. As the consequence of retaliating sometimes becomes far too dangerous. On other hand if eve teasing is going on for quite a long time and the situation is going out of control then it should be reported. But unfortunately, if you don't have a influential person and money power, reporting is also useless.

This reminds me of two incidents during School & College days. My best friend was my neighbour. She was the bold type, never to take anyone's word. When we were going for tuitions some boys passed some comments and she replied back, go take a look at yourself in the mirror . His ego was hurt to get a reply so the next time he said the F**K word and my friend replied back, Go F**k your Mom. That was it... from that day on wards for atleast 4- 5 years, the boy along with his friends would abuse her whenever they were passing by. Those days there was a case of molestation by a minister which was a topic of discussion. And they started calling my friend by the name of the girl who was being molested.

Second incident was, we were traveling back home from college in a packed bus. One boy was right behind her . She said to me these guys knows how to take advantage when you travel in a packed bus. I just turned and looked at that guy with a disgusted look on my face and turned back. We continued with our conversation on how disgusting these guys can get. After a few days, I saw the same guy with a gang of boys getting in the bus and saying that now we will teach her what is molesting , what is a rape case. I got shit scared and moved in front and sat with an elderly lady.

In my opinion one should ignore it in the initial stages itself unless otherwise.
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atria



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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:11 pm

Tough one. From the situations I have been in, I would say in one-off incidences like the train incident there is no shame in running away, or quietly handing over your money etc. Self-preservation should be your first instinct. However when someone bothers you regularly, do you accept it quietly? A slap can have fairly horrific results, Pratigya is just a story, in real life the girl might have been raped or had acid thrown at her. So its dangerous. But at the same time, how much eve-teasing can you take?
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koolsadhu1000

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PostSubject: Its best to go for SURVIVAL   Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:05 pm

I would not mind being branded as a coward . I would categorically NOT confront a mugger or an eve teaser .

To the mugger I would hand over all that he asked for .

The Eve teaser I would IGNORE . His few comments really don't make or break my day , neither do they determine if I am a Jhansi Ki Rani or a Coward . They would go off me like water on a duck's back .

If one bothers to argue with a Mugger who waves a gun in the face , there is a perfect possibility that he may shoot one in his balls .

If one bothers to back sass a person waving a knife , he may slash ur face .

An Eve Teaser can follow u after u heroically reply to him and throw acid on your face .

One Thappad from a male gunda can break your teeth and leave permanent disfigurement .

These were the things young girls in pratigya forum did NOT want to hear .They said I argued with purposeful barbaric examples and refused to acknowledge a heroic deed .

Marrying a stalker to TEACH HIM A LESSON was not heroic it was quixotic.

Why did Arurnima resist ?That worthless gold chain was NOTHING compared to her leg .

Prudence is not cowardice . Bravery should not be confused with foolhardiness . If Courage is a virtue so is using the intelligence given by God .
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atria



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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:39 pm

kools Pratigya is a serial, they had to show all kinds of random things. When I watched it in the beginning, I could understand Pratigya's motivation. Harassment is a big problem in some places in India, and a girl may snap and react, and the retaliation may lead to even breaking her marriage etc, it was realistic. Just like the Arunima case where the girl reacted with justifiable anger and it resulted in her crippling. Whether it is the best course of action or not, such things happen.

Where it became unreal for me was the marriage thing. She decides to get married to a mawali for revenge and her parents allow that? Would that have ever, ever happened in real life? For the sake of the serial they could have shown that either something bad happens to the girl like rape, or the gunda marries her forcibly and then they show the girl's long fight for justice or for reforming the guy, depending on how popular the male lead is.

The less dramatic option which typically happens in any middle-class family like the Saxenas-- the girl would quickly be shipped off to a mama or mausi's house for some time so that the mawali can't get to her, and if things were that serious she might even be married off from there (okay then there would be no Pratigya ban jayee, I know). We had a similar case in my own family where an aunt took unpaid leave from her very high-post job and went off with her daughter for four months to her brother's place well away from her home, just to get away from this undesirable boy. That's how real-life middle-class parents behave. It is cowardly perhaps, but if you are in a system where the police are horribly ineffective, then this is what happens.

I grew up in an environment which was not so fearsome, so I have for instance kicked or hit guys on a crowded bus for misbehaving with me, and never felt threatened. If it was a local boy misbehaving, the neighborhood elders take care of it, these were not full-blown gundas, but stupid hormonal boys, and people took great pride in keeping the right environment so I've never seen this kind of harassment myself.

On the other hand once a friend and I were returning from an ice-cream parlour in a rather sunsaan area in the evening and two guys started following us. In that case, we didn't even think to confront them, we just jumped on the first bus we saw and escaped. One has to judge the consequences of hasty actions, idealistic though they may be.
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anu rulz

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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Thu Apr 28, 2011 2:22 pm

u know,mumbai is still safe..the cases of rowdy guys is not so much..the few months i spent in delhi were torture in this context..sun goes down and ur unsafe..random guys on the road wud be propositioning u,once an autowallah asked me my rate,at first i was totally blank as to y is HE asking me?i shud be asking him whether he will take the fare..thn wen i got the meaning,i gave him a real dirty look and walked off wondering how on earth do i look like a hooker wen am carrying medical books in hand and a heavy bag on the shoulder..its THT bad over there..wahan kehte hain,bus mein agar log na chhede,toh conductor chhed deta hai..atleast here,ur safe in the bus or train comparatively..
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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Fri Apr 29, 2011 3:18 pm

koolsadhu1000 wrote:


Today the girl who once ran spiritedly on the fields lies , a cripple , on the hospital beds with the UP govt facing public fury for offering her a mere 25000 rupees as compensation .

seriously i know the gov means well but how about doing something to enforce laws instead of paying off victims, so that there aren't any victims. Use the resources to find the criminals and put them behind bars...the system needs to change, i know its easier said then done but still....



A Tv serial ..........Pratigya was hailed as a ground breaking serial as it showed somewhat a same scenario . Pratigya , a college going girl , tackles Eve teasing in a train by slapping a Gunda .............who then , stalks her , kidnaps her , and approaches bigger gundas to 'teach her the lesson of her life' .

this only has entertainment value.




My questions r simple .

1] Is it WISE to tackle gundas when they mug u and eve tease u ?
Nope due to the unpredictability of the attacker, in most cases they are pretty much prepared for almost anything.

2] Is it heroism when someone decides to take them on or is it setting a bad example coz people emulating u r endangered ? After all Rosa Parks WAS the first one to refuse to get up from her seat in the bus simply bcoz she was black .

This happened when the civil rights movement was occurring, so in away she joined the movement, and she had an idea of what was coming her way, quite possibly a hate crime....but in this particular case it was a matter of jewels and she was dealing with criminals of another kind....i'm not trying to undermine the situation

3] Is it cowardice if u decide to ignore them as u feel they can do ANYTHING , like slashing your face with a kniife or breaking ur jaw with a punch ..........is it cowardice if u think that heroism is not worth it and opt for survival ?

not at all. self preservation first

4] What is the BEST way to deal with eve teasing or mugging ? It is a social evil that needs to be corrected but it has existed through eras .

teasing ignore in most cases they are just looking for a reaction. Mugging just give them what they want. and file a case, hopefully the case will see the light of day and the mugger will be caught and punished. as for the eve teasing...teasers should be publicly flogged.

5] It is one area where brute force wins . So is recognizing the limitations of a woman's physique and deciding NOT to get into it the win of good over evil ?

6] If police r called these muggers or eve teasers decide to take revenge and stalk u ...........which is shown in Pratigya . Life is nEVER the same again .

Its unfortunate and i see why we are so passive about it.


So what should be done ? better enforcement of the law and severe punishment.

I would love to know your views and have a debate on this controversial topic .

So Let us begin .
Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Fri Apr 29, 2011 6:24 pm

I think the reaction to eve-teasing/mugging should be based on location, circumstances and company; and also the intentions. I think some boys do it just for the sake of it, they're not serious unless provoked, so better not to provoke them. They're ignorant bullies who have nothing better to do; and we're not going to change the world by going about beating up every guy who makes a lewd comment. If it's a more serious issue like a guy stalking you or something, that's a threat and should be taken care of immediately. I would not want to involve myself directly however; the best way to stop such behavior is intimidation from a stronger and more powerful person like a brother. If I were to reprimand the guy (s) directly and /or publicly, I would have to keep looking out for myself making sure that the guy(s) were not out to get me; that I wasn't being followed or not come home late and in constant fear. If I go out with a bunch of friends and somebody's making trouble, then I'm all for teaching them a lesson. Anywhere near home or places i visit usually like college, I would definitely not get involved directly. Human nature is very unpredictable; even a normally good person can exhibit extreme behaviors at times. It is better to be a coward and walk off and let stronger (physically) people handle such behavior than provoking and trying to handle it yourself. I have experienced all of the above scenarios, and thankfully, they were all handled properly with no serious consequences. It is quite possible, however that the situations could have gotten out of control. I'm all for female empowerment, and believe that women can do any work equal to or even better than men. But there is no denying the fact that men have brute physical force and can cause serious harm when they want to get physical.

In this particular case, Arunima should have let the rowdies take her chain instead of making a fuss. While it is courageous to try and stop it, even if she was successful it would be one incident which would make no difference to others in similar situations. And there are hundreds of situations like this every day. Losing gold is better than losing life or limb or worse like rape or molestation.
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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Sat May 07, 2011 12:27 am

growing up in a conservative family; not in a religious sense, but more in lifestyle, i would IGNORE. growing up in canada, i dont have any experience in eve teasing or mugging, but on the face of it, if someone teased me, i would ignore. i dont know if they are thugs with deeper gang connection, so the safest choice is to let go now, to be safe and secure. its not worth the more rash consequences.

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umayal

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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Sun May 08, 2011 11:42 am

Hai Kool Di,

For me, I would Ignore. Its not going to prove as a brave case when the end result is a disaster.
I have a Loving family waiting for me at home. To make those fellows (who will not change even after such cases) to pay for what they have done,one cannot end in havoc. so I would prefer safety for myself.


Ensuring your safety is clever I think. But if we are in a group, we are able to handle them,then I would go for it.
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PostSubject: Re: Discussion of the Week : Mugging or Eve Teasing : Should we respond or ignore   Mon May 16, 2011 10:33 am

I have a Loving family waiting for me at home. To make those fellows (who will not change even after such cases) to pay for what they have done,one cannot end in havoc. so I would prefer safety for myself.

That is the choice one has to do in a split second . R THEY [ back at home] more important or r these guys .........who DON"T CHANGE . Will my slap really make a difference ?

Will not slapping EMBOLDEN them ?

Will Slapping STOP them ?

I don't think Not hitting them back EMBOLDENS them . They CONTINUE even if they r slapped or given gaalis . They continue even if they r thrown in police lock up for aday . A college boy may retract ...........a gunda type WON"T .

Slaps dont stop them ..........they intensify problems . Better to ignore and stay away , and if it gets serious , with the help of experienced adults , get police involved . That is .....if the eve teasing reaches the STALKING level .
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